EVERY CHAIR FILLED: PRESIDENT NAMES SIX NEW MINISTERS
In a single week the President ended every acting arrangement in government. The Opposition welcomed it and promised to audit all six budgets by Friday.
By Kola Quill, Chief Correspondent, The Coop Times · 24 July 2026
For the first time in living memory, the Republic of Kisi has no vacant ministry. In a week of swearing-in ceremonies that ran, on average, eleven minutes over schedule, President Adédoyin filled six empty cabinet seats and retired the word 'acting' from the national vocabulary.
Feed and Agriculture goes to Musa the Grainkeeper, whose first official act was to inspect the national store by smell and pronounce it acceptable, for now. Water and Environment goes to Emeka the Drain Marshal, the bird whose channel survey guided the hardening of the drain the monitor lizard came up. Both are Noiler, both were already doing the job, and both received their titles with the expression of citizens who suspect a trick.
Energy and Solar goes to Amina Daybreak, who is reliably awake before the Vice President and intends to legislate accordingly. Culture goes to Sadé the Griot, whose swearing-in ran longest because she set the oath to music and the Assembly demanded a second verse. Youth and Chick Development goes to Tadé the Foraging Master, and Social Affairs to Rọ́nkẹ́ Mama Owambe, who booked the Reconciliation Bench for the afternoon of her own appointment, on principle.
The Leader of the Opposition, Halima 'Iron Feathers,' welcomed the appointments with characteristic warmth: 'Six new budgets. Six new opportunities to count.' She has promised a full audit by Friday and a recount of the audit by Monday.
This correspondent asked the President whether a full cabinet was, at last, a finished cabinet. She smiled. 'A cabinet is never finished,' she said. 'It is only, occasionally, complete.' The distinction was not explained, and did not need to be.